To Pee or Not To Pee
by BlackRob88
Summary: Horo has drunk too much pop and now he can't find a restroom anywhere.My first fanfic and already i suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King or I would be rich bitch. 

"I knew I shouldn't have drunk all that soda." said Horo, muttering to himself while running to the Funbari Onsen Inn. After running for several blocks, he finally reached the door of the inn only to find the door locked and a note on it saying:

"Dear Onichan

Anna and I have a surprise for you and the rest of the boys in the playground at the park. Be there at 1:30.

Signed Pilika and Anna

P.S. Be there at exactly 1:30 or else- Anna"

"Awww just my luck." sighed Horohoro jumping up and down, unable to stay still for one second. "Man do I have to use it." He started to run in front of the inn, right before an idea struck him. "I'll piss on the side of the house" the Ainu screamed out stupidly. A mother and her son walking by the house, heard the idiotic remark. The mother immediately covered her son's ears and ran off. Unfortunately for Horohoro, as he was unzipping his shorts to pee, a police officer walked up the street, quickly catching an eye to what the Ainu was about to do. Horo, realizing the officer was about to catch him pissing in public, zipped up his shorts so fast, he nearly caught himself.

"Stop right there" yelled the officer, starting to run toward the shaman.

By the time the officer was about five yards away, Horo quickly made a break for it.

After only a few feet, the overweight ass…umm cop had lost his breath, was struggling to stand, sweating, huffing and puffing.

"Screw this, I got donuts in the car." said the officer, as he gave up and started back toward his car.

Horo, after running through a bunch of backyards, jumping some tall fences, dodging several dogs, stepping in dog shit, and avoiding a shotgun blast, he finally stopped, caught his breath and took a glance at his watch.

"1:10! Man, where is a bathroom when you need one."

He looked to his right and found a small shop. The shop was a bookstore, selling …well books. On the side of the shop sat the man and the counter. Horohoro ran into the store straight to the man, holding his crotch and jumping up and down.

"May I help you?" asked the man running the store

"Can I use the restroom?"

"Restrooms for customers only"

"Uhhh, what can I get for free?"

"Some shorts full of piss, now please leave."

"Awww man" exclaimed Horohoro, as he walked out the door. The urge to use the restroom was becoming too much for the snowboarder. He was to the point of madness, right before he looked across the street and saw a gas station. Though there were oncoming cars, he quickly ran across the street, dodging cars before stopping, as a BMW came only a few inches from hitting Horo, as he tried to run across. A man, wearing a black business suit driving the BMW, came out of the car yelling at the young shaman.

"Hey, you little blue haired retard, you're in my way you dumba--"

Errrrrrr, smash. That was the sound of another car crashing into the BMW, knocking the man down before he could finish his sentence. Horo was able to get out of the way right before the car could knock him down. Shocked and frantic, Horo crossed the rest of the street, in a hurry making it to the gas station. Once there, he walked up to the station attendant the counter of the gas station. The attendant, a tall and bearded man wearing a blue vest, t-shirt, and black jeans, was reading a magazine before he saw Horo come up to the counter.

"Do you need anything?" asked the attendant, still reading the magazine.

"Yeah, can I use the restroom?"

The attendant, after putting the magazine down, dug in the drawer of the counter and pulled out a key. He then gave the keys to Horo and showed him the direction to the bathroom.

"Thanks," said Horo gleefully, as he marched to the restroom.

This was it. Horo was finally going to have the chance to use the restroom. It was going to be a huge load off his mind, as he was going to piss his troubles away. He had a big smile on his face and let out a laugh of enjoyment, as he was unlocking the door. But as he opened it, what he saw would shock and disgust him. The restroom was in horrible condition. Urine, vomit, and crap covered the floor. Rats and roaches scampered all over the place. Mold covered the walls. In the sink, water trickled out brown and gritty. The toilet bowl was covered in black stuff, and in it, oh you just don't want to think about it. And the smell, you probably don't want to think about that either. The restroom was repulsive, repelling, and gross.

"There is no way I'm using it in there." yelped Horo to the attendant as he ran out of the gas station.

"Hey! You still have my keys." screamed out the attendant, but it was too late. Horo had ran so far and fast, he was out of range to hear anything the attendant was saying.

Author's note: This was supposed to be a one shot but the story got longer and I got lazy, I decided to update later. Please review


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King or I would be rich bi… ahh you know where I'm going with this.

First off I would like to thank all the reviewers who took their precious time out to review my story. Without you guys I would be sitting around all day looking at Pokemon, since they cut my cable off, instead of writing this pointless tale about piss. Now on to the story.

Last time, we saw our hero Horo almost get arrested, almost get shot, almost get hit by a car, almost use an unsanitary restroom, and most horrifically almost piss on himself. Aw yeah it's now 1:23, seven more minutes to meet the gang at the park. Now we join our story in progress.

"If I don't get to the park soon, Pilika's going to kill me", said Horo looking up at his spirit Kororo. After running around for a few minutes, finally saw his prize; a portapotty just few yards ahead. Horo was so happy the minute he saw that portapotty. He started jumping, skipping, even did a flip. He ran to the potty with a big grin on his face. As he was starting to unzip his shorts, while running to it, a weird thing happened.

"KABOOOM"!

The portapotty exploded. Shit and piss started to rain down on the street, while the remains of the portapotty lie buckled and burning. Horo fell down to his knees crying, while looking at portapotty burn.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED", cried out HoroHoro.

Just then a group of three teenage boys came out laughing.

"That was so cool" blurted out the teenager with black spiky hair.

"What else should we blow up with this dynamite?" Asked the teenager with short purple hair.

"Noooooooooo", cried out Horo as he heard the conversation. He got up and started running and yelling.

" Dude, what's his problem?" asked the teenager with long black hair, puzzled by the behavior of Horo.

"I don't know. He's probably high. Hey I got an idea let's go get high too. I got the weed at my house."

"YEAH", shouted out the teenage boys as they were giving each other high fives. Horo, meanwhile, was still running before he stopped right in front of the park. "The park. The park has a restroom." exclaimed Horo, as he ran in. As soon as he ran in, he saw a sign showing the directions to the restroom. The minute he saw the sign, he had a big grin on his face again, triumphantly running to the restroom. This time Horo was gonna get a chance to pee, and this time his heart would be broken again. As he ran to the restroom, he noticed a few trucks a round the park restroom. Tubes ran out the restroom into the septic sewerage trucks. Horo ran up to a man outside the restroom asking him.

"What's going on here?"

"We have to clean stools in this restroom"

"Will I be able to use the restroom soon."

"Not for a while kid. But there are portapotty on the other side of the park" said the man.

Disappointed, Horo started walking to the other side of the park. As he was walking, he saw boy with a pitcher of lemonade, pouring it into the cup of a little girls. He started to notice that the lemonade being poured into the girls cup looked a lot like …..piss. How it trickled out all yellow and stuff.

This made Horo so upset, that he took a rock and threw it at the boy. The rock missed the boy, but instead it hit the boy's older brother. "Hey!" shouted out the older brother to Horo, after he realized it was him who threw the rock. Horo soon took off and the older brother was off after him. Horo soon found a wall and hid up against it. After standing there for a while, he couldn't see the older brother running after him, Horo turned around and realized he was hiding up against a of portapotty. Giddy as hell, Horo quickly opened the door to the portapotty, and revealed who was in the portapotty and what they were doing. It was Elly of the Lily Five making out with the older brother.

"Horo!" screamed Elly, pulling down her skirt.

"Elly!" shouted Horo.

"You!" angrily yelled the older brother. He quickly leapt off of Elly, and started chasing Horo once again. Horo, still having to use the restroom, quickly left the older brother in the dust. He stopped in front of a baseball field where a game was being held. He could hear the coach yelling out his substitutions, "Matsui, you're coming out, Keitaro you're in."

"You're in, urine, they sound too much a like." said Horo thinking about pissing. To make matters worst now his stomach started hurting. Now he had to do a number two. "Aww man, if I don't use it soon, I'll go crazy." He started running around in circles, holding his crotch, before he saw a ball and kicked it in the street. The ball ended up rolling in front of an on coming truck that happened to be carrying portapotties. The truck swerved to avoid the ball but almost rolled over and had lost a portapotty. The portapotty came off the truck and rolled over in front of Horo. This was the chance Horo was waiting for all day. With a big smile on his face he went into the portapotty and spent the next forty minutes in there. When he came out he was jumping, skipping, even did a flip before he looked at his watch and realized he was way past late. Suddenly he heard a voice calling his name, "hey Horo over here." He ran down a hill and saw the gang, all at the playground. Yoh and Manta were on the swings, Ren was sitting on a bench, Faust and Eliza were on another bench kissing while Ryu, Chocolove, Anna, Tamao, and Pilika was just standing around waiting. "Where have you been, BoroBoro?" asked Ren whose insult pissed Horo off.

"You're late Horo" told Anna, staring at Horo with her infamous cold glare.

"I had to use the restroom." replied Horo.

"It took you that long?" asked Yoh still on the swing

"I ran into a few situations."

"Its okay brother, now you're here." said Pilika, now happy her brother's here.

"Okay he's here now whats the surprise?" Ryu asking both Anna and Pilika.

"Surprise" yelled out Chocolove, trying to make a joke, with streamers, blowers, and confetti coming out of nowhere. The whole gang stared at him blankly, and he quieted down.

"Now that you're all here, the surprise is me and Pilika have volunteered you guys to clean up the park" told Anna

The guys looked around the park and noticed it was littered with cans and papers and other junk. They sighed and let out a depressed "Oh man".

THE END

I hope you guys like my story. If it reminds you of a show, that's because the idea came from an episode of the Animaniacs. Please review.

Piss line of the day: "Said your body, your body is a portapotty." Dave Chappelle: Piss on you


	3. Alternate and added scenes

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King

Once again I would like to thank the reviewers who checked out my story. Right now, I can't think of any other stories right now, even though I have ideas like Springbreak Baby, a comedy story about the Shaman gang during spring break, and Shaman King Jackass where the shaman gang does stupid stunts like the show Jackass. But, I can't think of any stories for these ideas, so I decided to post some original, alternate, and added ideas for my story "To Pee, or Not To Pee". Hope you like this one.

This scene happens after Horo started running through some backyards.

After getting away from the police officer, Horo started running though some backyards. In one particular backyard, a naked couple was in a hot tub, caressing each other. Horo jumped over the fence leading to the backyard. When he landed, he quickly saw what the couple was doing. The woman in the hot tub turned around, saw Horo and started screaming. The man turned around and yelled at Horo "Get out of here you pervert". Just then a man came out a back door, in bathing shorts with a bottle of champagne telling the woman " Oh honey, look what I got….HONEY!" A backyard full of blank stares filled the backyard, before Horo pointed to the man in the hot tub and said to the woman "That's not your husband." The husband dropped the bottle of champagne and started yelling at the who was his wife and a full fledged argument was started. The shouting match raged on for a few minutes before Horo busted in asking:

"Would this be a bad time to ask can I use the restroom"

"You little bastard! I'll show you." yelled out the man in the hot tub. He got out of the hot tub, quickly put some shorts on, pulled out a gun, and started firing at Horo. In a flash, Horo took off running for his life, with the man running after him firing. The man was so concentrated on blowing Horo's head off he didn't see the branch at his feet. The man tripped over the branch with a thud as Horo turned around and started laughing. Unluckily for Horo, he was too busy laughing and running to see the dog shit ahead of him, and ended up stepping and sliding in it. He dusted himself and started running again with a big skidmark on his coat.

This idea had just came to me and was sorta inspired by the R. Kelly song "In the Closet". Had I have thought of this earlier, I would have included it in the story. If I continue to have trouble thinking of other stories, I might keep updating this story with other alternate and added scenes, even possibly add another chapter about the park clean up. Please review.

Speaking of R. Kelly, here's another piss line of the day from Dave Chappelle's R. Kelly spoof "Piss On You":

"Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love, I don't even want, none of the above, I want to piss on you.

R.I.P. Fat Tone


End file.
